Training

2354-minutes
39.23-hours
54-days
43.43-minutes averaged daily

Sunday is going to be awesome.

Little Poly-Suede Dress

Today I was feeling inspired by some hair clips that I saw in blogland. I started making all different kinds of felt clips. I stumbled across some poly-suede that I had, and decided to make a autumn jumper for the girls. (of course I made a matching hair clip!)

Things Have Been Looking Up

It is amazing what a little exercise and a day off can do to my spirit. This week has been significantly better than the last. Aaaah, it feels good.
I started teaching sewing lessons in my new home studio. It is so wonderful to see someone getting so excited over learning how to use a sewing machine. I feel like I unlocked a myriad of projects and ideas that once seemed impossible. Curtains, pillows, handbags, dresses....the possibilities are endless! I love seeing someone get excited about creating things. It is very rewarding.

I did the whole length of my triathlon last night. I felt so alive! It felt like a huge weight of anxiety being lifted for my crazy day on Sunday. I am really looking forward to the race. It is going to be fun to get all suited up with number drawn all over my body. It is going to be a huge accomplishment. (Especially as a mother of two young children! It really means a lot to know that I am capable of taking time for myself- not in a selfish way, in a healthy way. It feels good to know that I have been working all summer for this and it is finally here.)

Things are looking up.

Pity Party

This has been the worst week ever. Things aren't looking up for today either. After a series of awful days I wake up in a crappy mood, predicting that the day is going to be bad, and I take it out on my kids. I don't want my alarm clock to be crying anymore. It is the most horrible way of waking up. I don't know how many more days like this I can handle with out completely freaking out. This has been the most challenging week so far with both of the girls. My patience has been tested and I failed the test.
It doesn't help that Jesse has had a hard week at work.

Tri

15 days left to train for the triathlon, eek!

A New Kind of Space

After the sad departure of our lovely friends Marlee and Olivia I started to make up a craft room. I thought it might be nice to have a designated place for "creative play". Selfishly, I really wanted a place of my own to do sewing and crafting as well. It is still a work in progress but I wanted to share what I have done so far.



I also took this as an opportunity to organize my fabric and all my sewing "things."



The room has a nice big closet that I thought would be good for a "baby doll nursery." The girls are so into it. It feels a little weird to have an extra place to go. I have always felt so confined to the first floor.  

I also had room to put in our (small) pull out sofa bed. So, get ready to crash at the Keenans!

Marlee Darling

I am really going to miss you. Even now I am waiting for you to get back from cell. Sigh.

Bucks County

Yesterday Jesse and I dropped off the kids at his parents house and had a chance to spend some time together. We ate out at the new Cantina, then went bowling. We had a such generative conversation at dinner and great fun bowling. Today we slept in and lounged around the house for a while in the morning. We had planned on going for a bike ride around Fairmount park but decided to bike in the country before picking up the girls.

While riding I was reminded how beautiful it is "in the country." We rode along beautiful farms and rolling hills. We rode next to streams, rivers and through tree lined streets for 22 miles. I really smelled summer today on my ride. The warm sun making the earth smell so sweet. There was also a point in the trip that we passed a dead animal (I couldn't even tell you what it was) but I took a deep breath as I rode past it. I was expecting to be disgusted by the smell but instead I was surprised that it smelled familiar and safe. I felt an unbelievable amount of thankfulness for that animals existence. For when it was alive and for its death. 

On our way to pick up the girls I was feeling a bit jealous of the people who lived in those big beautiful homes. I can't even imagine how much different their lives are than mine. Some day it would be nice to live in the country but I was reminded this evening about my love for the place I live. 

When we got back into town we went right to church. What a breath of fresh air. Thank you Josh. When we returned to our block it seemed like all of our neighbors were hanging out having a relaxing evening. I am thankful we have such great neighbors. 

It was amazing to see that where we live has so much life!

I take in the smells and they smell good.

Little Lovely

Madeline had her first sewing lesson this afternoon.

six eight

I was having a lot of difficulty with learning how to time my movements while swimming, particularly with breaststroke. Marni was helping me by repeating "pull kick reach pull kick reach." I found that I still was just flopping around in the water. I tried to put it on terms that I really understand. I thought of the movements as rhythm and put the stroke in a 6/8 time signature. I "pull" on the "one, two, three" and kick on the four and glide on the five six. (That is a crazy sentence.) Jesse and I then tried to think of songs that were in 6/8 that I could think of while swimming. The one that we thought of was the Weezer song "No other one."
Any one have any other suggestions of songs that are in 6/8?

Waiting for Sweet Relief

The last couple of days have been so hard. Jane has had a fever for the 4 days and is on antibiotics and Madeline has been desperately needing more attention. It is hard for me because I have so much patience with Jane in her crying sick state but hardly any for Madeline. It makes me feel guilty. It seems like I am doing everything I can to be a "good mom" but I end up in tears with two screaming naked children.
It really is hard to grasp what God means when he says, "have faith like a child." My first initial thought is "well we all know that Jesus didn't have kids so it is easy for him to say." I guess I am going to have to dig deeper into what it means to be a crying, helpless, and sick child before God. Maybe that's what brokenness is. Hopefully I will be able to receive grace with open arms like my children open their arms for me to pick them up by begging and tearing at my legs.
Part of me thinks that I don't have enough time to be broken right now. There is too much to do and too much going on in all the nooks and crannies of my life. I am just keeping my head over water as it is. Being a full time mom is one of the hardest jobs I think I will ever know. (being married feels like a full time job some days too)
On a good note I have been able to go swimming every day this week. I need it. At the end of the day I need to be able to walk away and feel productive with no "mom guilt." I can tell I am becoming a better swimmer but I still am a little afraid I might not make it across that river.

Psalm 38
O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore.
There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin.
For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me.
My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.
I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart.
Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hid from thee.
My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me.
My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off.
They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long.
But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth.
Thus I was as a man that heareth not, and in whose mouth are no reproofs.
For in thee, O LORD, do I hope: thou wilt hear, O Lord my God.
For I said, Hear me, lest otherwise they should rejoice over me: when my foot slippeth, they magnify themselves against me.
For I am ready to halt, and my sorrow is continually before me.
For I will declare mine iniquity; I will be sorry for my sin.
But mine enemies are lively, and they are strong: and they that hate me wrongfully are multiplied.
They also that render evil for good are mine adversaries; because I follow the thing that good is.
Forsake me not, O LORD: O my God, be not far from me.
Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation.


excuse me for being a bit dramatic