I have been thinking about this a lot when I think of 2 big mommy NO-NO's...TV and SUGAR. Or at least- the 2 biggest guilt inducing, or should I say "judgment inducing" mommy actions you could do.
All you moms know what I am talking about. I think it is humorous when I hear pregnant people talk about how they will not let their kids eat any sugar or watch a minute of TV when they are born. I always think that is such a load of bull. I think where it get's dangerous is when people who go around saying how "harmful" something is and then realize it is not so bad. Now not only do they feel guilty for "giving in" but feel judgment for changing their minds. (I call this first child syndrome.)
Well, if you haven't figured it out by now I am talking about myself. When I was pregnant and when Madeline was born she had only the best baby food and no sugar and hardly watched tv....then I got pregnant with Jane. TV was a necessity when I was was barfing and trying to watch a little one. When the doors opened for Madeline to eat sugar- Jane got to partake in the sweet goodness- and she was just a wee little baby.
(I'm not saying I gave her big pieces of cake- but the kids tried everything.)
Now that I have 3 kids I feel like I have really been able to let go of a lot of expectations of what a "good mom" is suppose to look like. And honestly- I feel like I get the mommy stink eye from other moms when they see my kids in the grocery store with a lolly pop or come over and my kids are plopped in front of the tv.
I don't say no to sugar, tv, jumping off the couch like a monkey, ect., but I also don't let them do whatever they want. We do what works for our family- which usually entails a show in the morning and maybe another show while I am making dinner. Sue me. And guess what- we make cookies and cupcakes- AND EAT THEM!
With that said:
1. Don't judge other people's parenting. Unless you have an intimate view of a family and where you can talk to the mom (or dad) and discuss parenting styles.
2. I have been making an effort to help the kids make healthier choices in their diet. Thus we created the Wall-O-Heath. A snack smorgasbord that they can go to anytime of the day. I got dried fruit, nuts, cheerios, dehydrated veggies...
*and yes, coffee machine is vital in the Wall-O-Mental Health for the grown ups.
*I never have a good mommy rant on here, so please excuse me if I made anyone feel uncomfortable or dislike me for a minute. ha!
8 comments:
I think you are a good mom and Jesse's a good dad, too. I really love your family. I know that's a (positive) judgment, but I hope that's O.K.
I agree with Jonny. You guys are great parents and we do the same thing with our kids. It's just a matter of allowing that stuff in moderation (which I know you guys do). Erin can't make it through grocery shopping without Ian having some sugary diversion so she has taken to carrying these awesome lollypops. He knows they are just for special times and she leaves her sanity intact. That is a win/win in my book any day.
You are an amazing mom and knowing you have these feelings is a HUGE relief to me. I believe that a healthy relationship with food does not mean only a relationship with healthy food.
As for TV, I am still struggling with that one, but I think the important thing is that your kids have lots of quality time away from the TV with their parents, friends and imaginations. This could not be more true than at your house.
Good Rant!
Lois, I totally agree!!! And even more so... I think a little tv is good now! Their are so many educational pre-school shows now, and kids pick up sooo much from them. I think my niece and nephew do watch to much tv... but I think they are pretty smart kids. Jackies teacher said she has the best vocab of any first grader she has ever met... I believe she picked that up from the shows she watches. I also agree that a sugar snack is ok, once and a while. Moderation is key... and your kids are pretty active, so they will burn that right out of their system.
So yea, I agree with you... and I am so glad that I see people who used to talk one way, now open their eyes. I probably wont have my own kids, but I see how a lot of people are, and I used to keep my mouth shut, because I though I was wrong for feeling that stuff is ok, but after I see how Jackie and Sam are, I know I was right :)
Why is it so easy for moms to judge and feel judged? I guess we feel it's so important to do a good job. There's a big difference between a couple shows and the tv being on all day. There's also a difference between preschoolers and babies watching tv (according to the AAP). And kids who grow up with no sugar or tv feel deprived! How hypocritical I'd feel if I never gave Grace sweets! I love them, but still think I'm a healthy eater.
I'm with you. I think 1 child moms usually think like that (me) and after 2 or 3 comes it all gets balanced out.
A snack wall is a great idea, thanks!
love all the snacks! great idea!
I sometimes laugh- Kaelin, our just-3 yr. old is watching Ben 10 Alien Force and Scooby Doo because that is what her older brother and sister are watching. I NEVER would have strayed from Clifford and Blues Clues for my oldest girl, but now that I have 3, I can't really make the older ones watch preschool shows all the time, and I can't keep Kaelin locked away while they watch their big kid shows. But I have to say, she does prefer to watch Miss Spider and Max & Ruby, so that is what she watches when her siblings are at school.
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